Who Have I Been? Who Am I Becoming?

This weekend was everything.. 

     First, lets rewind to August 30, 2015, the day she told me we were done. She looked me in the eye, told me she was unhappy with me, didn’t want to try anymore, thought it would be best for us to just break up.  i was feeling pretty destroyed. recently ive been reflecting on where i was a year ago and i realize how far I’ve come. i was a weak, insecure, afraid, depressed little human. I remember  packing some of my things and leaving the farm that day. I had no idea where to go or what to do so i found a spot on the side of red road, pitched a tent and camped out. i cried more and harder than I’ve ever cried in my life, all i could think about was what was wrong with me. A few days after the breakup, once i finally accepted that it was really over, i went to the farm to get the rest of my things. She had left a note on the desk for me, there was a part in the note where she said she wanted me to live, to experience new things, try new foods, make friends with the locals, fall in love with myself.. The things she said in that letter set me free, gave me the courage to just go for it. I think initially i was just doing it all for her but it ended up being all for me. 

     So now here we are, it's August 30, 2016.. Im happy as a clam, living life on my terms, confident, in love with myself more than ever before. Ive tried all kinds of new foods, made friends with so many new people, some of the most amazing humans. I realize that a failed relationship isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning. She set me free in so many ways, and for that i’m thankful. This weekend myself and 2 friends packed up the jeep and headed west. In case you’re wondering, 3 grown women can, in fact, fit in a walmart kids tent. We camped, hiked, ate green papaya salad and other delicious thai foods, we laughed all of the laughs, made friends with strangers and puppies, drank good coffee, talked about life, the struggle, successes, and whats next.. it was pretty much everything we all needed. It's cool how life always manages to give you the people you need exactly when you need them.  Wednesday comes, we're back home, and i fall asleep with a smile on my face because this has been one of the best weekends ever. I’m so thankful for every curveball life has thrown me, especially in the past year. I have done more self exploration and living than i ever would have expected and it wouldn’t have happened without having my ass kicked a time or two.