Who Have I Been? Who Am I Becoming?

This weekend was everything.. 

     First, lets rewind to August 30, 2015, the day she told me we were done. She looked me in the eye, told me she was unhappy with me, didn’t want to try anymore, thought it would be best for us to just break up.  i was feeling pretty destroyed. recently ive been reflecting on where i was a year ago and i realize how far I’ve come. i was a weak, insecure, afraid, depressed little human. I remember  packing some of my things and leaving the farm that day. I had no idea where to go or what to do so i found a spot on the side of red road, pitched a tent and camped out. i cried more and harder than I’ve ever cried in my life, all i could think about was what was wrong with me. A few days after the breakup, once i finally accepted that it was really over, i went to the farm to get the rest of my things. She had left a note on the desk for me, there was a part in the note where she said she wanted me to live, to experience new things, try new foods, make friends with the locals, fall in love with myself.. The things she said in that letter set me free, gave me the courage to just go for it. I think initially i was just doing it all for her but it ended up being all for me. 

     So now here we are, it's August 30, 2016.. Im happy as a clam, living life on my terms, confident, in love with myself more than ever before. Ive tried all kinds of new foods, made friends with so many new people, some of the most amazing humans. I realize that a failed relationship isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning. She set me free in so many ways, and for that i’m thankful. This weekend myself and 2 friends packed up the jeep and headed west. In case you’re wondering, 3 grown women can, in fact, fit in a walmart kids tent. We camped, hiked, ate green papaya salad and other delicious thai foods, we laughed all of the laughs, made friends with strangers and puppies, drank good coffee, talked about life, the struggle, successes, and whats next.. it was pretty much everything we all needed. It's cool how life always manages to give you the people you need exactly when you need them.  Wednesday comes, we're back home, and i fall asleep with a smile on my face because this has been one of the best weekends ever. I’m so thankful for every curveball life has thrown me, especially in the past year. I have done more self exploration and living than i ever would have expected and it wouldn’t have happened without having my ass kicked a time or two.

Fast Cars & Freedom Part 2

Markie and Hojo Adventures

     July 26th ..MOAB it is!! Im stoked for two reasons. 1. because i love straying from my original plans and 2 because Markie! in the last 6 months markie has become one of my best friends. its that soulmate kind of friendship. she’s also my number 1 adventure pal. so I’m excited to experience moab with her.  i wake up at the crack of dawn, catch sunrise, and head west. driving thru colorado on 70 is blowing my mind. this is the first time I’ve seen mountains like these. Crazy winding roads thru the mountains, i can’t really put into words what was going thru my head, its one of those things you’ve just gotta do.  …Alright, I’m out of Colorado and into Utah and the terrain is changing on me again. starting to look more like the desert, I’m only an hour and a half away at this point and I’m starting to get giddy.. Markie has been telling me how much she loves moab for as long as i can remember so I’m really stoked to be experiencing it with her for the first time. An hour passes and I’m driving into moab, listening to Nahko, Wash it away (if you’ve never heard of nacho and medicine for the people, do yourself a favor and look them up. 2.5 years later and their music continues to speak to me).

Moab

the beauty of moab and this song hit me right in the feels. I’m in awe and I’m crying and smiling and just so stoked to be living. to be doing this in general! I’m moving to yellowstone, tomorrow and I’m spending the day with my best friend in moab today!! so many feels. I arrive at the house markie is staying at. her friend is a base jumper, skydive instructor, and hot air balloon pilot. this is gonna be fun. we grab some beers from the local brewery, i learn about utah’s weird drinking laws, and we head out for a hike. it was a pretty short hike, super hot out but not florida hot so I’m fine. we get to the middle of this canyon and the silence is breath taking.. how have i not experienced this before. again I’m imagining what this must have been like for the native americans. you could literally hear a pin drop in here, what must it have been like to hear your enemies coming or wild animals.. so much to think about. we play around on some rocks, throw rocks into holes pack out and head to a lake. This is the first real lake I’ve ever experienced. i mean florida has lakes but you don’t really want to swim in them because algae and gators and snakes. this place is magic.

The Lake

A giant blue lake surrounded by giant red rocks. rocky bottom, no creepy animals to worry about. we swim, play with the rocks, wonder what kids do at lakes because you can’t cover yourself in sand or build castles. realize that in this part of the country most people don't know how to swim and thats weird.. its nice not having sand stuck to you but kinda painful laying out on rocks. We drink some beers, head to town eat some amazing italian food, hang at a bar and discuss polygamy because, utah and i figure out my game plan for tomorrow. we go to a friends house, they’re playing poker, me and markie are tired and awkward, head back to friends house, sleep. big day tomorrow, I’m kind of freaking out! TO BE CONTINUED...

Filthy 50

Long Exposure of Old Faithful.

     Aug 27. tonight i watched old faithful erupt for the 50th time! i almost skipped out on this one because i was tired from working but I’m so glad i snapped myself out of lazy mode. being on the basin at night is kind of an erie thing. Tonight i was completely alone, something I’ve never experienced out here, theres usually  a few people out taking photos but tonight it was just me. i hear stories about elk, bears, wolves, and coyotes wandering around old faithful at night so to be all alone kind of got to me. i had mixed emotions of fear and excitement. i think being out here and adventuring alone as much as i do is teaching me when to trust my gut and when to chalk it up as fear. kind of a cool thing really. anyhow, i got there about 20 minutes early and as I’m sitting there waiting for the eruption I’m able to hear all of the sounds of the basin.. sizzles and pops from steam vents nearby, the thunderous roar of old faithful heating up, weird sounding birds, coyotes in the distance. even managed to see a shooting star. the stars out here are incredible. milky way for days. i thought i had seen the milky way in hawaii but that was nothing compared here. this park is magic. it’s no wonder it was the first national park established.. sitting out there tonight i couldn’t help but think about the native americans and what they must have felt about this place.

Bonus: Long Exposure of Old Faithful Visitor Center

Fast Cars & Freedom

Cya later Florida!

     Ok so its july 21st, time to head out to montana! Im due in gardiner on july 28th. my original plan was to go to daphne alabama to see my mom, then camp in arkansas, then camp on a lake in middle of nowhere kansas, find somewhere to sleep in colorado, camp somewhere outside of jackson wyoming and then arrive in gardiner on the 28th. 

There’s a reason i never make plans, its because i have a really hard time keeping to them. So i head to daphne, stopping for an adventure at cellon oak park, the largest living oak tree in florida. i climb around, take some pics, admire the shit out of this thing and then get back on the road. As i approach tallahassee and remember the old saint augustine highway is supposed to be beautiful, so i make another detour and cruise this gorgeous oak tree tunnel road just outside the city. I land in downtown tallahassee, make a wrong turn and end up at a night market on a lake. this is awesome! grab some food from a puerto rican food truck, eat by the lake, get harassed by a duck, and head out. finally get to moms, stoked to see her! she’s doing well, we have some beers and catch up. i stay there for 2 nights. 

Cellon Oak

Old St. Augustine Rd.

   

Watermelon Selfies!

     It’s July 23rd and now I’m officially yellowstone bound! I say goodbye to mom, she cries, of course. My plan for the day: get to mt nebo state park to camp for the night. first stop: watermelon patch in seminary missouri to take a selfie sitting in a giant watermelon on the side of the road. theres a store, i pop in, lots of weird clothes and trinkets. that was fun, now on to pinnacle mountain state park, where i hear there’s a great view of sunset. drive thru insane rains in mississippi and arkansas. nothing but corn fields and storms. always thought florida had good thunder and lightning till i drove thru arkansas. when you spend this much time alone on the road you have a lot of time to think, reflect, and feel. this day was full of that. Lots of tears, remembering how the last time i drove across country it was under completely different circumstances. A song came on that took me back to a moment i shared with my ex on our trip and i lost it. funny how music can do that to us.. 

Pinnacle Mountain Sunset

Anyhow, I finally arrive at pinnacle just in time for an amazing sunset. got a little lost but saw some great views along the way. sunset was gorgeous, this was the first time i really noticed the terrain changing from flat florida to rocky forests. pretty stoked. hike around a bit, take it all in. arrive at mt nebo state park at night. laughing out loud by myself on the drive into the park. pitch black up steep switchbacks. its setting in that I’m actually doing this! get to the campground, can’t see a thing, can’t find my campsite, drive around aimlessly for a bit. finally find it and set up in the dark, excited to see what I’m waking up to in the morning. so many cicadas singing me to sleep. its hot out, walmart kids tent doesn’t have cross ventilation. oh well. sleep like a baby.

Mt Nebo State Park

     Ok so July 24th was so much fun! I wake up to an amazing view. gotta decide if i want to stay and explore the park or head out to kansas. long day of driving. decide to head out because weather. drive drive drive. oklahoma is HOT! I plan on staying at a campground in scott city kansas. get to wichita, where i see a mini horse at a gas station, and decide to say f*ck it and go to kansas city to see jordan! what a great decision! So i drive 3 hours out of my way but finally arrive in KC and am so stoked. Me and Jord have been friends for a solid 10 years, haven’t seen each other in like 3. her place is awesome. get to see pops, poo man and brodie (her dad and 2 dogs)! we go to sunset at a park downtown, meet all her friends, head back to her place for bbq.

Kansas City Sunset

I’m quickly falling in love with this place and these people. after quite a few pbr’s we go to this pirate ship playground. it starts to lightning. we play in the rain, soaking wet, laughs, funs, these are good people. life is good, i could stay here! a few more adventures downtown and then sleep.

     July 25th. gotta leave KC. Jord takes me to get the first good coffee I’ve had in days at a place called mud pie and we get bbq at some dope spot in kansas city, kansas. we say our goodbyes and I’m on the road again. this time headed towards colorado. this is my longest day of driving.. 12 hrs. i go about 30min out of the way to visit monument rocks in oakley kansas. what a cool spot. drive thru cow pastures, get stuck in a few cow jams (a traffic jam but with cows). so these rocks are made of sediment, this whole area used to be underwater at one point. its one of those things you can’t really explain, you’ve just gotta see it for yourself. massive rock formations in the middle of flat farmland kansas. 

Monument Rocks, Oakley Kansas

Ok so I'm back on the road, tired but I’ve still got 8 hours to go and the colorado mountains are calling my name. the excitement from monument and a beautiful kansas sunset give me a good second wind. i pass thru denver and decide i'll pull off to sleep somewhere around breckenridge. find a dope mountainside pullout with a bunch of rv’s and truckers and decide this is my spot for the night. set up bed in back of jeep. and pass out. this is the first time I’m feeling the climate change. started the day in 100 degree kansas and ending it in 50 degree colorado. stoked!

     

     July 26th. wake up for sunrise and holy cow is this beautiful. One of my most favorite things do do is to arrive somewhere at night with no clue what ill wake up to in the morning. its like christmas looking out the window or tent and looking around to see you’re surrounded by beauty. its an amazing thing. 

Breckenridge Sunrise

get coffee and gas and crappy road trip breakfast food and I’m faced with another decision.. one of my greatest friends ever who just moved to phoenix will be in moab.. so do i stay on my course or drive 8hrs out of the way to see her? i hear moab is a must and its my bestie so yolo, I’m going to moab!  TO BE CONTINUED…

Welcome to The Wandering Goat!

     alright so i’ve been wanting to start a blog for a while and halfway thru this yellowstone adventure i figure if i don’t start now, i probably never will so here goes.. i've got quite a bit of catching up to do so i’ll start off with a quick recap of the year and a half leading up to me moving to yellowstone.

     I was working at ron jon surf shop doing the responsible adult thing, you know, working 40hrs a week, had 2 dogs and an apartment on the beach. My friends were great. Work hard play hard kinda life. then i meet this girl, she’s amazing, we hit it off, fall in love, you know the deal. 6 months later she’s like lets move to hawaii, I’m like duh. so off we go, sell everything, give my dogs to a friend and drive to california, ship my car, and hop on a flight to big island. 

life is good this is amazing. living on a farm 4 miles from the best surf spot ever. Meet amazing people, tons of adventures etc. Then we break up. Im convinced my life is over, typical break up nonsense. I’m on this island in the middle of the ocean and the girl i love told me i gotta go. What now? In comes Mari (best auntie ever) she takes me in for a bit, gets my head straight, pretty much kept me from completely losing it. i apply for jobs on other islands. a surf shop in maui calls, i take the job and move to maui. was only there for a few months before heading back to big island and then eventually back to florida. maui was amazing part of me feels like i left to soon but i know i’ll be back so it’s all good. 

     so i move back to florida, get a job downtown melbourne, move in with a friend. life is good. i have walls and a real shower and a bed (something i didn’t have for months living in hawaii). Fast forward 6 months.. I’m losing my mind! the thing about traveling like i did is that once you do it it’s really freaking hard to live a normal life. i went on a road trip with 2 friends in late may and realized i would much rather live in a van and work and travel. so i get home from the road trip and really ask myself what it is i want to do. I love home, i’ve got a good job, my family and i are closer than ever, my friends are great, but i realize I’m so incredibly unhappy. So i apply for some jobs, figured if i was meant to go i’d get a phone call and if i was meant to stay i wouldn’t hear anything. anyhow 2 days later i get a call from xanterra at yellowstone offering me a job doing the same thing I’m doing in florida, making the same amount of money, only cost of living is cut in half and I’m living in freaking YELLOWSTONE. this was actually a pretty tough decision for me because I’ve finally got this really great relationship going with my dad and grandmother and i didn’t want to upset them by leaving. but the job is only for 2.5 months rather than the open ended kind of move i made to hawaii. So i take the job! they called me on july 14th and i was due to start work on july 28th, so i had a lot to do in a little amount of time. quit my job, said my good byes, packed up my jeep and headed across country for the second time! Best part was that this time it was on my terms. every decision made, place visited, adventure taken was up to me. I’m pumped! also terrified :D 

     by the way, my name is jenn, i love goats, i'm a professional life liver from florida, and when i write i capitalize and punctuate when i feel like it. welcome to my blog!